drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
