Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
