he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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