Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
