New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
