considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
