Whod you bang
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
