Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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