im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
