Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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