You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
