I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Four minutes until I can fart!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize