In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
