i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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