I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
