I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
