It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
