He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
