i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
