just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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