I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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