I think I died a long time ago.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
