We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
