hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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