the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
