Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
