I feel like I'm in dance class right now
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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