i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
