Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My vagina is very pro this idea
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
