Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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