is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
