I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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