is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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