once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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