apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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