they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
