i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
