He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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