She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
