i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
