please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
