Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
