Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
