i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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