from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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