I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
