nutella sex= disaster
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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