i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's blow job season.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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