I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
