woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
