I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm really busy with my period
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