I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
