it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
